All Dressed Up
by Ultrawoman
Summary: Post- Heart of Gold. River receives a gift from the girls at the bordello, and Jayne isn't entirely impressed when he finds out what it is... Rayneish One-Shot.


**A/N: I've got into this habit... every time I re-watch Firefly lately, I see a Rayne angle in there somewhere! Its not a habit I much want to get rid of, as it produces these cute little one-shots of mine ;-) This one is post-Heart of Gold, and I would love to know what people think of it...**

_**Disclaimer: Firefly and all recognisable characters belong to Joss Whedon and other important persons that aren't me.**_

All Dressed Up

Simon had asked River what she had in the bag under her arm as they re-boarded Serenity, but she hadn't a mind to say much. All she would admit to was that it was a present, though she didn't explain whether it was _for_ her or _from_ her to some other person. Kaylee told the Doc he oughta pay no mind, in fact, she'd seen two of the girls from the bordello handing the bag to his sister. It wasn't like she'd thieved nothin', so there was no problem that the little mechanic could tell. Of course, Kaylee was not River's overprotective older brother who was quite obviously concerned about his mei-mei accepting gifts from strangers, especially those that were also whores.

Still, a few days went by, life moved on, and Simon and the rest of the crew plumb forgot about little River's mystery bag. She hadn't of course. Crazy spells or no, River was smart and was biding her time. She had plans for the gift her new friends at the Heart of Gold had given her, but it would only be of use at the right moment, and with the right person.

Alone in the cargo bay, Jayne had just got past 200 chin ups and was about to call it a day when he sensed something move by the door. Pulling the strapping from his hands he peered through and down the corridor, and then he spotted her. River peeked around the edge of the door at him, then stepped out into view shocking the usually un-shockable mercenary.

"What in the gorram hell...?!" he said at the sight of little River Tam, dressed up to the nines in a fancy dress, designed to show off all she had and then some.

"She wears it well" she smiled slyly as she walked towards him, deliberately swinging her hips and tossing her hair around, "Little girl in big boots, Captain said, but now you see woman in seductress clothes" she said plainly, as she took a couple more confident steps forward and Jayne backed up one.

"Where'd you find that get up?" he asked, feeling a little weird about the fact that she was right in what she said.

She did look awful child-like, running around with Kaylee in clothes and shoes too big for her slender form. Now she was woman, curves and all, and he just weren't sure how to handle that.

"My present" explained River, running her hands over the material of her new outfit, "from those that bend to will and live to please. All shiny there, power and beauty..." she smiled, in some kind of happy daze, "all she wants to be"

"Them whores done gave you a dress?" asked Jayne, confused as to why they would bother, and more so why she'd ever ask for such a thing, "What you wanna fancy rig like that for anyhow?" he asked, almost wishing he hadn't a moment later when she sat down on the edge of his weights bench and smiled in such a way ill-befitting her innocent self.

"Reasons they wear, she wears" she explained, running her hands along the bar above her head, "To be as they are, to please"

"You ain't no whore" he said definitely with a shake of his head, folding his arms over his chest.

In no possible way could River Tam be such a woman, didn't have the experience for it and he wouldn't ever wish she did. Weren't becoming for womenfolk like her to be livin' in no whorehouse. She was decent people, crazy or no, brought up proper, at least til the Alliance done messed with her head. She had manners enough and brains to make even her brother look dumb. Why she'd wanna be like this didn't make no sense.

"No, not a whore" she agreed, "and would not wish to make living from such a thing, though she understands why others must" she said, losing sudden interest in where she was sat apparently, and jumping up on her toes, "What she cannot comprehend, why men would pay when willing bodies wander freely" she said, head cocked to the side as she stared intently at him, circling him in delicate ballet steps.

"Long-suh little witch" said Jayne, craning his neck to watch her as she moved around him as if they was dancin' or some such.

"True and false" she giggled at that, "Crazy sometimes, never was a witch" she said as she arrived in front of him again, "else would have bewitched you"

"Like you could..." he started to chuckle at that but stopped short when she stepped in closer, pushing her body up against his own.

Never let it be said that Jayne Cobb was weak, but when it came to girlfolk and their offering themselves up to him, it didn't take much for him to lose focus. Course it was simpler with whores, you paid your coin, you knew what you was gettin'. This was just plain befuddlin' to a guy like Jayne, to have someone like River, all young and pretty and right now makin' him feel things a little slip of a thing like her never should, pressin' herself up against him, clearly wantin' somethin' for nothin'. That oughta work out well for Jayne, 'ceptin' he had a notion that Mal would toss him back in the airlock and mean it this time if he so much as thought about touchin' the girl.

"Not so complicated" she said then, eyes boring into his own, hands on his shoulders to steady herself as her lips came within an inch of his own, "Man-called-Jayne likes women, and she is woman" she teased him, knowing that inside his head there was all manner of screamin' and fightin' going on.

His next move happened so fast, River hadn't even time to read the thought from his head before she was shoved away, almost landing on her rear even from the light shove.

"Maybe so" he agreed, "maybe ya are woman, but y'ain't what ya come dressed as" he shook his head violently, "I ain't buyin' what you're sellin', Crazy, no way, no how" he said, backing up a couple of steps before the devil on his shoulder beat the already fading angel to death, and he forgot to care about consequences.

"Not selling, no purchase necessary" said River indignant in her response, at least until she felt his thoughts overpowering whatever her own had been, "Feelings are twisting in spirals and patterns, you fight yourself more than her" she said thoughtfully as she stared as if looking right through his head and into his brain somehow, "Explain please"

Jayne thought about just walking away, tellin' her she talked gao-tse and leaving her be, but he could make sense of her riddles now, more oft'n than not, and figured he may as well figure this out with her, afore she took her new whorified self and started playin' around Mal or Wash. She'd be fixin' to get herslef killed she laid a hand on men already spoken for!

"You ain't like them girls" he tried to tell her, with a random and exasperated gesture of his arm, "Put a fancy rig on ya, put your wiles on me, don't make no difference" he told her definitely, "Won't ever make me see ya that way, and I wouldn't ever wish it on ya"

River looked appropriately shame-faced as she took in the words the mercenary said. Perhaps he was right, and that did not come as a surprise. Others considered Jayne Cobb to be a stupid man, but that was untrue. River knew better, knew that beneath the thoughtless comments, the dirty smirk, and the attitude problem, the was a perfectly good brain, and a genuine heart, though neither were shown to the world much.

"Wrong approach, she understands now" nodded the girl, trying not to smile too much as it would surely aggravate the man she only wished to please.

"Good thing" he agreed, turning to walk away, glad to be out of the whole ruttin' situation before it got even more outta hand than it already had.

"Whore house not the only heart of gold in the 'verse" said River behind him, and though Jayne heard every word clear as a bell, he kept on walking, just like she knew he would.

The End


End file.
